Monday, December 31, 2012

Apocalypse Take Two


I woke up this morning. Alright, alright, I woke up at noon today. Stumbled in a zombie like state chasing my cats about the house acting like a complete mad person.  Then when I finally managed to open my eyes, which stung from the bright light of day, and discovered a very unsettling fact.

MY CALENDAR ENDS TODAY!!! THE WORLD ENDS TODAY!!!

IT IS THE LAST PAGE!

My next thought was "Those SOBs lied to us all." Either that or they work for our local weatherman. Hey I am not asking that he is right everyday, just once in a blue moon would be nice.

After servile hours of panic and distress, paired with endless online shopping on credit. I collapsed on the floor with a bottle of wine and cried like a child. That little flipbook of paper that directed me every day of my life was ending today. How could I go on living?

It was then saw it! The new 2013 calendar my husband had bought. We are SAVED!!!

Yeah I know this all seems rather ridiculous, but really come on lets be honest. A lot of people were freaking out on the December 21 for no reason. If you were one of those people scared when you woke up on that day let me give you some advice.

If the race, religion, or town drunk on the corner can not predict their own issues. Chances are they have been digesting something that spoke to them, and it wasn't some celestial or other worldly being, warning them of the end of the world.

Because lets face it. You know higher powers like to watch us ran around like bugs when the lights come on. They have to get their entertainment somewhere.

Even if would could predict the future, our own death, or the end of all. We should not live our lives based on events. One day at a time (at least that is what my head doctor says). Live each day like it matters, because it does matter. Which would you rather have sad depressing regrets, or happy wild ones. I am leaning toward wild.

I know that was deep even coming from me. The damn motivational posters are getting to me, they are like an infection!

Also,
make sure you complete your list of resolutions you are never going to think about after two days, and if you are like. You won't even remember you wrote them (praise the god of rum).

Happy New Year Everyone!!