Friday, January 17, 2014

Old Stuff, New Year: Memories In Snow

Last night I spent a bunch of hours looking over all my old work. Why? Really because I was looking for new old ideas. You know, things you write about but then completely forgot you did them.

Let me tell you I found some very interesting stuff. VERY interesting. Some of it was awful, some of it was brilliant, and some of it was just scary.

What did I get out of all of this?

Well, I found out that I am one messed up person. Everything I have written is very sad, twisted, and makes me feel a little sorry for my characters. Ok fine. A lot sorry for them.
I also feel it is a shame to keep all this awesomeness to myself. So I will randomly be posting up some of my old, old, old stuff for a little treat.

Now I have hardly gone back and touched up any of this stuff, it is all raw and straight from the twisted mind of a teenager/early adult hood. So don't be too harsh of a judge people.

Alright first little gem is something I wrote as a squeal to another story when I was 20. So about nine years ago. It is one I have actually posted the beginnings of earlier. Hit the links to read them.


SPOILER ALART. (If you have plans to wait until I actually finish the first story, then you might not want to read the background portion. Just skip over the bright red text and head downward.)
Background:
            Redd has found he is the son the King lost in the great wars. Sage, his love from the first story has returned after every has thought her dead from the final battle. Redd is now King since his father did not survive the battle either. He is also engaged to another noble in his court, right as Sage reappears.

Memories in Snow
(I have no idea where I came up with the title from. Just go with it.)

 
Warming pinks and deep oranges gave little warmth to the winter frosted land as the sun started to raise beyond the snowy hills of the west. Redd stood at his frosted window watching his breath create fog against the glass, the first rays of sunlight dancing off the tops of gold plated towers of the palace. It was this time, these few moments before all the people woke to go about their daily duties, that Redd had peace. Complete silence for his thoughts which had grown more complex over the last few months. Thinking back over had they had ended in such a difficult situation. Two years go he was just some lowly servant to the crowd guarding the princess. Now he was the crowded long lost son of the former king. The country depended on him, his sister Violet depended on him, then there was Sage.
            She had made it a point to avoid him, even though she argued otherwise. They all thought he dead, lost in that final battle years ago. Yet here she was like nothing have ever happened. Returning to her normal life like now of it ever happened, but Redd couldn't put it so easily out of his mind. He committed a sin toward her, an unforgivable sin that lead to her tragic death. If she could just forgive him maybe there was still a chance for the both of them. Resting his forehead against the window Redd let out an aggravated sigh. There was so much to be said and so much that had become more them just complicated. Sage had barely said a word to him since her return and when she did speak to him it was like a subject to their king. Was that all he was at this point in her life?
            Glancing back up from his thoughts Redd's blue eyes caught something moving down in the garden. A figure moving about the iced trees and snow capped bushes. The figure turned briefly to survey the area, Redd's heart skipped a beat recognizing that long raven hair. Redd barely had time to grab his rob as he raced down the empty halls of the palace and out into the gardens. This might be his only chance to speak with Sage with no one around to interrupt them. His impatience stride halted the second he entered the garden, the last thing wanted was to spook her. She would only run, make her getaway before they could have this talk.
            Redd crept across the snow covered path trying to find where she had gone, turning the corner to the small courtyard tucked away between the palace walls he froze. It was like witness some supernatural maiden in all her beauty and wonder. Sage was seated on a small stone bench beneath the old willow tree. The branches were bare, the flowers replaced by a thick coating of ice that seemed to form into their own crystal flowers. Reflecting the morning light against Sage's rich tanned skin, bring a life to her Redd had never witnessed before.
            Redd's foot took a step forward without his mind even commanding it. The fresh untouched snow made a light crunching sound under his weight, a sublet sound but to a trained warrior like Sage it was like someone had dropped a plate of armor on stone. She stood quickly to face him, drawing her cloak around her shoulders to hide the night attire she still had on. The second her eyes found him, she bowed. Dipping her head in a respectful manner that made Redd cringe.
“My King.” She said to him in an obedient tone. He hated to hear her say those words, they might have seemed harmless and standard, but Redd knew they meant so much more coming from her. She was distancing herself from him, putting a wall between them and maybe even secretly cursing his name. He deserved it all.
            Sage looked back to him, those deep green eyes made Redd fall into the comfortable state of aw. “Was there something you need of me My King?” She asked, waking Redd from his daze.
“Don’t do that.”
“Do what, My King?” She knew her obedient nature was starting to wear on Redd, but she didn’t care.
“You know what!” he snapped at her. Taking a few steps forward his eyes became softer. “I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to yell.”
“There is no reason to be sorry.” Sage replied with her cold tone, stepping out of her crystal hideaway.
“There is a reason…There are many reasons why I'm sorry.”  he took a step forward and waited to see if she would flee. “I wish you would forgive me.”  he said again, and to his surprise she didn't move away. This was good, at least she wasn't running like always.
“I forgave you a long time ago for abandoning me. I know you had your reasons and your grief.” Even though her words seemed sincere her tone was not. Redd shook his head, she was being difficult on purpose now.
“I wasn’t talking about that. I meant for Julia and not waiting. For giving you hope when there wasn’t any. I didn’t mean for it to happen like this. This isn’t what I wanted for—“
“For us?” Sage finished for him. “There is no us Redd. You are going to be married in the spring and once you release me from your services I will move on. Until then I will do one thing and one thing only. Be your loyal servant.” Redd could hear the hurt in her voice and she had every right to feel hurt.
“Sage don’t so this. I said I was—“
“Sorry!? Sorry for what?! For lying to me?! For putting me through hell and then taking it all back as I lay there dieing?!? And then after years of trying to find my way back I find you here with this.. this.. This woman about to be married?!?” Sage wasn’t speaking like the rational warrior she was but rather a woman that had been hurt. A woman that had been rejected by her lover. “You couldn’t wait?!”
“I thought you were DEAD, Sage! It wasn’t like I wanted this to happen. Why can you not understand that?”
“And yet when I return you don’t show one once of joy at all. Instead you just treat me like your slave.” Redd had to look away. Those green eyes of hers were filling with tears and he couldn’t stand to see her cry.
            Sage had brought her arms up around herself feeling so foolish and hurt in that moment. Her whole reason for life seemed to slip away right before her as the tears rolled down her face. Turning to walk away she added “I was so foolish to think you ever loved me.” Said at barely a whisper, but Redd had heard it. His head snapped toward her and before he knew what happen Redd had snatched her to him. His hand gripping the back of her neck, forcing her into a kiss. She was going to know how much he still loved her, needed her. Even if she refused him now, she was going to know. To his surprise Sage was kissing him back and what started as a short surprising reaction, turned into a heated passionate kiss between old lovers. As their lips parted Redd looked into her tear glistened  eyes. His thumb wiping the tear from her cheek and the other at the small of her back holding her firmly to him. 
“Sage,” Link breathed out in the crisp cold morning. “There wasn’t a moment that I ever stopped loving you. I just want to be with you. Don’t you know that?” Sage had to look away from him as she took his hand from her face. Kissing the back of it softly she then let it fall to his side, stepping back from his embrace she knew this could never happen between them.
“And yet you will be married in the spring and I will be there to see the man that loves me marry another woman. I will stand there in the back of the temple knowing that you will be embracing her just like this.” Her fingers coming to his lips for a moment, remembering that intense kiss. “That all those soft kisses will be hers, and you will be with her in away you will never be with me. Knowing all this you still have the nerve to tell me you love me?” The realization on just what he was doing to her hit him all at once. The words had started to form from his mouth but Sage had stopped him. “Please, I have heard enough.” Sage begged him before dropping her hand from his mouth and leaving swiftly.
            Redd stood there shocked by the reality of it, the truth that he was hurting her for his own needs. His own selfish reasons were still causing her pain, but he couldn't let her go. Things had gotten so complicated. He stood there tracing his eyes along the foot prints she had left in the snow. This was three times he had turned his back on her, and Redd found himself asking if he ever did love her.

Till Next Time