Anomaly
by
Derra Nicole Sabo
Genre:
Biography
It's
3am...While most minds are in a blissful state of slumber, mine is
wide awake conjuring and pondering endless thoughts. Eyes are fixated
on the dark popcorn ceiling above and ears are soaking in blue tunes
as my autopilot mind becomes overwhelmed with the past, future and
every cherry topped dream in between.
These
thoughts range from warm and fuzzy to dark and slightly crippling.
Sometimes I wish that my mind had an off switch so that I could power
down at night. No such luck. So, wakie wakie! Grab yourself a coffee
and a snack because it's 3am and I have so many thoughts to share
with you.
As
someone with anxiety, writing is my way of speaking. When my verbal
skills fail, my pen excels. I have always had something to say to the
world and to the humans residing in it, I just could never get my
mind and mouth to be on the same level. So, I picked up a pen and
haven't looked back. I have a message for you. A message for my
family, my friends and to all the beating hearts. Dear You is a
letter personally written, from me to you.
GUEST POST
Anomaly
When
you look up the definition of this uncommonly used word, it
translates to something differing from the "normal" and
quite honestly, that is the best and only way I could describe my
life and even who I am.
It
is a weirdly satisfying feeling when you have completely pulled the
dark and uncomfortable thoughts from the storm inside of your brain.
Conjuring up the idea to do so and the actual process of extraction
from the brain to the laptop, however, is terrifying. The thought
that one day the outside world would be introduced to the monsters in
my head and even have an opinion about them, is well, kind of
unfathomable.
Every
molecule in my brain told me not to be so open, not to share this
part of me. Let's face it, while this world is beautiful in it's 4k
brillance, there are moments when a switch is flipped and the cold
darkness rushes through. As tightly knit we are as a human race, we
are also equally divided, especially these days. Smash Mouth had it
right all of those years ago, "It's the end of the world as we
know it...".
No
matter how loudly my brain screamed at me to not enter this
adventure, my heart screamed louder for me to jump and start typing
(a megaphone always makes a profoud statement lol). So, with a long
deep breath and one final doubtful thought I grabbed an iced coffee,
my laptop, headphones and released the Gremlins in my head.
There
were two main focuses when jumping down this rabbit hole..firstly, I
wanted to be completely open with every thought that I decided to
share. A "no holds bar", even if it made every bone in my
body uncomfortable, which it did lol. See, I have always believed
that it is within the uncomfortable that we really learn and grow,
unfiltered. We have all heard this before, but how true it is.."glow
sticks can't glow without darkness.".
Secondly,
I wanted Anomaly to read as though you and I are just two friends
sitting in a coffee shop, getting lost in conversation and cold brew
coffees with vanilla sweet cream. I wanted anyone who ended up coming
across Anomaly to know that they're not in any way alone, that while
our battles may differ slightly or while the generations may span
out, I know...I get it.
It
is so important to continue the mental health conversation, it is so
important to continue to shine that 80 watt bulb on the monsters of
Anxiety, Depression and Suicide. This will never be a "one and
done" convo, continuing the chat and spreading the awareness is
what's going to continue to lessen and hopefully end the stigma
against mental health.
To
those who fight these battles I say this to you...Never be
ashamed..Never hide your marvelous self and Never be quiet about your
mental health.
To
the world, we all have a battle we are dealing with, they differ in
type and size, but these battles are being fought. With this
knowledge, we should all have a more understanding mind.
Hidden
Pieces
There
are several layers to Anomaly, some that the naked mind may not
pickup on..
First,
the storm painted around my left eye represents the storm inside my
mind, a storm that's been thundering since day one. I wanted you to
see what has always been hidden away inside. My best friend, Coryn,
is the master artist behind that storm. She was able to take my
vision and paint it on my face. The perfect storm created from
eyeshadows and white liquid eyeliner.
Purple,
this was a definite when creating Anomaly, it just ran through every
thought. Purple means creativity, wisdom, power and magic. These
being the traits that I wanted stitched into every conjured up piece.
It also happens to be my favorite color, a color I feel a sense of
calm from.
The
tempo of Anomaly needed to be a balance of discomfort and a warm hug.
While I needed the calm purple thoughts to intertwine, I wanted to
make your mind think, open up and possibly even transform a bit. I
wanted to dance with you under the eeiry silence of the beautiful
midnight sky.
The
scent of Anomaly is a soothing mix of cinnamon and vanilla..yes, I
actaully smelled these two comforting scents while writing Anomaly.
My senses are kinda crazy, but when writing any new piece, my senses
starting spinning. I don't just picture how my writing is going to
look, I hear and feel the entire process. Which brings me to the
reasoning as to why I always curate a playlist to my work, why I
place a lyrical quote at the end of each piece..Music has always
calmed my overdriven mind, even as a baby. Music calms, it inspires,
it brings my world together, it keeps me intact. Music doesn't just
cause you to shake what your Mama gave you, it heals the wounds that
are hidden inside. Music is writing in motion.
What
can I say...my mind is an anomaly.
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This book cover is Gorgeous!!! Love it. Thank you for the chance and I can't wait to read. :)
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